Whether you love Donald Trump like he’s your spray-tanned messiah or you despise him with every fiber of your democracy-loving soul; guess what? It doesn’t matter. Because regardless of how you feel about the man squatting in the Oval Office like it’s Mar-a-Lago with better catering, the one undeniable truth is this: the President of the United States deserves better than the clown show currently running the Department of Defense. And yes, I’m talking about Secretary Pete “Bro Chat” Hegseth.
Now let me be clear; Trump’s got 99 problems, and Pete Hegseth should be number one. Twice now; yes, twice, this Ivy League-educated, Fox News-groomed security sieve has blown holes through national security so wide, you could march a battalion of Iranian drones right through them. First, he accidentally looped in The Atlantic's editor-in-chief, Jeffrey Goldberg, on Signal; because, apparently, Pete thinks classified info belongs in the same chat app you use to tell your wife you’re picking up eggs. And now, thanks to The New York Times, we find out that same breach happened again; this time in a group chat with his wife, his brother, and his personal lawyer. It’s the Axis of Incompetence.
Seriously, what the actual hell?
This isn’t just fuckin stupid. This is dangerous. He wasn’t texting dinner reservations. He wasn’t asking which tie to wear for Hannity. No; this idiot, I mean genius, was sharing the schedule for a U.S. airstrike in Yemen targeting Iranian-backed Houthi forces. The kind of information that, if intercepted, could cost American lives. And who does he share it with? Jennifer, his Fox News alum wife who; get this, has also reportedly sat in on sensitive meetings with foreign military counterparts. Because nothing says national security like “bring your spouse to work” day.
Here’s a man who puffs his chest out about leaks, throws staffers under the bus for whispering too loud, and yet he’s running Signal chats like it’s a fantasy football league. Let me put it plainly: You can’t scream about treason on Tuesday and then leak battle plans on Wednesday.
And it gets worse.
Dan Caldwell, one of Hegseth’s senior advisers, just got frog-marched out of the Pentagon over; you guessed it, leaks. Not long after, two other officials, Darin Selnick and Colin Carroll, were placed on administrative leave. This isn’t just a one-off mistake. This is a culture of carelessness. A frat house masquerading as a war room.
Now, I know Trump has a soft spot for loyalty. Trust me, I wrote the book on loyalty; and how that misplaced virtue nearly destroyed my life. But let me offer this bit of advice, Donnie: Loyalty to stupidity is just another form of sabotage.
Because when you surround yourself with sycophants like Hegseth; who confuse bravado for bravery and confuse their Signal chats for secure comms, you don’t just look weak, you are weak. You’re the Commander-in-Chief, not the Enabler-in-Chief.
And the cherry on this crap sundae? Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer; yes, that Chuck, is now calling for Hegseth’s head. And what’s Trump’s response? Radio silence. Not even a rage-tweet. Not even a “Sad!” Just more crickets than a MAGA rally in Berkeley.
You think Trump would’ve tolerated this kind of buffoonery if it came from someone on the other side? Hell no. If a Democrat defense secretary did this, Trump would’ve demanded an impeachment, a public flogging, and maybe even a loyalty oath to Hannibal Lecter. But Pete’s his guy, so he gets a pass. Again.
Let’s take a step back: This isn’t about politics. This is about national security. You can’t slap a classified label on a document, toss it in your sock drawer next to your cufflinks, and then shrug when your cabinet secretary is leaking war plans like he’s sending memes. It’s not just dumb; it’s derelict.
Pete Hegseth has proven, twice now, that he cannot be trusted with the responsibilities of his position. He’s not just a bad choice; he’s a national liability. And while Trump might tolerate a lot of things; fawning media coverage, illegal hush money payments, even a few coups, he cannot afford to keep someone in charge of our military who thinks Signal is a secure vault and that his inner circle should include his fuckin’ in-laws.
So do the right thing, Mr. President. For once. Not for the headlines. Not for the base. But because the American people deserve a Secretary of Defense who doesn’t treat classified intel like it’s a family group chat.
Fire. Pete. Hegseth.
Before the next leak costs us more than embarrassment. Before your so-called “loyalty” becomes our nation’s undoing.
And for the love of democracy; try using WhatsApp next time. At least that one's encrypted.
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Well said, Michael. Glad we have a former insider’s take on this shit show. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for making me laugh this morning. You would fit into my family very well. Humor and sarcasm are how we deal with shit shows.