"Disaster Strikes. Find A Fall Guy"

Trump’s favorite executive skill: firing the fall guy for a problem he created. Markets crash, secrets leak —; someone else pays.

Let me paint you a picture; one I’ve seen so many times it could be hanging in the MoMA, right next to the abstract expressionist chaos that perfectly encapsulates this Trump administration. Picture this: the markets are collapsing, Secretary of Defense is again leaking war plans on apps, deportations are spiraling into human rights disasters, tariffs are flopping like Trump Steaks at a vegan potluck, and who’s to blame?

Not Donald Trump, of course. Never him. Accountability is a foreign concept to the man; it might as well be written in Farsi for all he understands it. No, when the world’s on fire and the matches are still smoking in his tiny hands, he’ll tell you it was someone else who struck them. And now, with the worst April since the Great Depression breathing down his neck like a subpoena, Trump is already lining up the fall guys.

First up? Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve and the newest addition to Trump’s Wall of Shame. Trump has been whining that Powell wouldn’t “listen to him” about interest rates; as if economic policy should be shaped by the man who has zero understanding of either the economy or the term policy. The nerve of Powell, trying to preserve institutional integrity rather than obey the financial fantasies of a former reality TV host with the impulse control of a sugar-rushed toddler. So when the markets tanked; because of rising inflation, consumer pessimism, and the sheer instability of Trump's self inflicted tariff wars; he didn’t look in the mirror. He pointed at Powell and said, “It’s him. He did this.”

It’s always someone else’s fault. Trust me, I know this better than anyone. Trump surrounds himself with yes-men and sycophants who jump when he snaps his fingers. But Jerome Powell? Powell had the audacity to stand firm ; and for that, he will pay the price. Now, despite what Trump believes, Powell can’t be fired. The Federal Reserve chair is appointed for a term, not a popularity contest. But that’s never stopped Trump from launching a full-blown smear campaign. So, while Powell can’t be tossed out of office like a dismissed lackey, expect him to be publicly humiliated, privately blamed, and left to carry the weight of Trump’s failures. And, of course, in Trump’s world, the solution is simple: find a replacement who will gladly inflate the economy to prop up the mirage of his "genius."

But wait—there’s more!
Cue the return of Signalgate 2, the sequel no one asked for but everyone saw coming, courtesy of America’s resident intellectual dumpster fire, Pete Hegseth. Yes, Pete somehow managed to broadcast classified military plans again ; this time targeting the Houthis in Yemen. Because, naturally, posting sensitive war secrets to your wife, brother and lawyer on a public platform is exactly what any savvy strategist would do. Maybe next week we’ll get a live stream of a SEAL Team 6 raid on Truth Social for those sweet engagement numbers. All this does is further unravel Trump’s already non-existent international credibility. Our allies know we’re reckless, and our adversaries? They know we’re idiots. And here’s what Trump will say: “Pete’s a patriot, but he made a mistake, again.”

But here’s the kicker: Trump has no loyalty to anyone, least of all Pete. While publicly standing by him, behind the scenes, Pete’s already quietly being discussed for replacement. Loyalty? In Trump’s world, that’s reserved for the mirror.

Then there’s the Holman Horror Show, starring ICE goon Tom Holman and the administration’s absolute refusal to honor court-ordered limitations on deportations. The tragic case of Abrego Garcia; a father torn from his family despite legal protections, has now become a national stain. Trump doesn’t care. He never has. But the courts do. The people do. And someone, anyone, needs to be held accountable. But guess what? It won’t be Trump. Holman will go down, just like everyone else before him, as another disposable asset sacrificed on the altar of Trump's ego.

Howard Lutnick, the man who whispered sweet nothings into Trump's ear about tariffs solving everything, will also be handed his walking papers. Tariffs on China, Trump was told, would bring them to their knees. Instead, China stood up, stared him down, and refused to budge. U.S. farmers and manufacturers are bearing the brunt while Trump bellows about “winning.” The truth? Lutnick miscalculated. And in Trump’s world, mistakes get you thrown under the MAGA bus faster than Ted Cruz says something he regrets.

And now for the tech titan turned political parasite; Elon Musk. Is he in the government? No. But is he in the White House? More than Melania, and definitely more than JD Vance, who’s supposedly Trump’s Vice President but still has to schedule meetings through Elon’s assistant. Musk has slashed jobs, torched federal agencies, and turned his pet projects into PR nightmares. From the DOGE-pumped crypto crashes to legal battles over data privacy and AI transparency, Musk has been a walking, tweeting cautionary tale. But to Trump? He’s a genius. Until he’s not. And when the blowback becomes unbearable, you can bet your Tesla stock that Elon will get scorched too.

This is how it always ends in Trumpworld. The emperor throws his courtiers into the fire, blames the ashes, and pretends his robe isn’t on backwards. The first wave of firings is coming. They’re going to be dramatic. They’re going to be messy. And they’re going to be exactly what Trump wants; another distraction. A sleight-of-hand trick to make you look away from the one person who has always been at the center of the chaos:

And that person is President Donald J. Trump.

The king of calamity. The maestro of malfeasance. The man who sets the world on fire and then sues the fire department for bad press.

And we’re supposed to trust him?
Might as well trust a toddler with a grenade.

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