"Economic Collapse: Courtesy Of The MAGA Messiah"

SATURDAY EDITION

Even though today is Saturday; a day once reserved for brunch, dog walks, and some well-earned distance from the national dumpster fire, there can be no rest, no reprieve, and no remote chance of pretending that the chaos has taken a breather. Why? Because Donald J. Trump and his cronies never take a day off from torching the foundations of American democracy, one gaslight and grift at a time. That’s precisely why over 1,100 “Hands Off” rallies are erupting across the country like a national scream therapy session; because Americans are done playing the silent, stunned spectator to his slow-motion demolition of everything we once stood for.

You might ask: “But what exactly are we protesting today?” Take your pick. Trump’s assault on women’s rights? Check. His unrelenting war on truth? Naturally. His weaponization of the DOJ and the Supreme Court as his personal hitmen? Absolutely. Or maybe it’s the fact that in just seventy-five days of his terrifying second coming (no thanks to the MAGA base’s resurrection of the beast), the man has managed to ignite an economic dumpster fire so hot it’s melting alliances that took centuries to build. Yes, centuries; like the kind of alliances that held the post-WWII world together. Gone. Poof. All because one man’s ego couldn’t fit inside the Resolute Desk.

And let’s not kid ourselves; Trump actually did do something worth noting during his first term. No, not the Big Macs in the Rose Garden or sharpie hurricanes. I’m talking about the Abraham Accords; a legitimately historical breakthrough in Middle East diplomacy. He could’ve ridden that success like a golden chariot straight to Mount Rushmore. Hell, the man could’ve had his face chiseled somewhere between Roosevelt and Lincoln. But instead of legacy, Trump chose lunacy. Instead of diplomacy, he chose dictatorship cosplay and cosplay dictators.

And now? He’s attempting a kamikaze-style reboot of American manufacturing, yelling “America First” while simultaneously plunging the nation into a trade war it is destined to lose. Let’s be crystal clear: re-domesticating manufacturing sounds patriotic in a bumper-sticker kind of way, but the economic reality? It’s pure, unadulterated fantasy. The goods made here will be astronomically more expensive, which means consumers either won’t buy them or will bankrupt themselves trying to afford a toaster. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is moving on. Nations that once counted the United States as a trusted trade partner are now courting new alliances faster than Trump flips on his own lawyers. (I know. I had to throw myself into this, again).

He’s isolating us. Economically. Diplomatically. Morally. Even Canada is side-eyeing us like we just stuck our middle finger in their maple syrup.

Trump’s vanity knows no fiscal boundaries. He’s slapping tariffs on allies like Oprah used to give out cars; you get a tariff, and YOU get a tariff!, and driving up prices on American consumers while simultaneously pissing off countries who are now discovering, guess what? They don’t need us. They’re sourcing materials, tech, agriculture, and energy elsewhere. Why deal with the chaos king when they can deal with countries that, oh I don’t know, honor agreements and don’t rewrite contracts with a tweetstorm, a Truth and a tantrum?

Now here’s where we Democrats need to wake the fuck up. It’s not enough to point fingers and say, “Look at what Trump’s done!” We tried that in 2016. And again in 2024. And here we are; again, still trying to put out the dumpster fire with a garden hose and a dream. If we think Trump’s incompetence and Doge-fueled delusions will be enough to send him packing, we’re already halfway to handing him a third term in spirit.

Democrats must define who we are; not just by contrast to the golfing menace, but by what we believe. By the policies we will put forth. Policies that scream out we stand for protecting democratic institutions, for the rights of women, for safeguarding the environment, for real solutions to income inequality, affordable healthcare, protecting Veterans, social security, medicare, medicaid, reproductive freedom, and sane, cooperative global engagement. We believe in workers and the economy. In security without sacrificing civil liberties. In immigration policies that don’t read like fever dreams of Steve Bannon’s ghostwriter.

Because Trump’s strategy isn’t to build anything; it’s to burn everything down and then scream from the smoldering ruins that he’s the only one who can rebuild it. But he doesn’t build. He sells. He scams. He brands. He destroys. And then he blames.

So, yes, even though it’s Saturday, we must protest. Because the second act of Trump isn’t just a rerun; it’s a reboot with a vengeance, and the stakes are higher than ever. The economic disaster unfolding before our eyes isn’t collateral damage; it’s the plan. Economic instability creates fear. Fear leads to desperation. And desperation is the soil in which autocracy thrives.

This isn’t just about rallies, tariffs, or overpriced Made-in-America light bulbs. It’s about saving the soul of the country before it’s sold off at auction to the highest bidder; likely from Russia or Saudi Arabia.

So raise your signs. March with fire. March with anger. And let today’s protests echo a simple truth across every state and city in America:

Hands off our rights. Hands off our economy. And hands off our democracy. Americans have had enough!

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