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Beth VanderWoude's avatar

I am survivor of narcissist abuse. I finally allowed myself to get out my personal situation. I never thought I'd have to endure this again; this time on a more massive scale. I feel just has helpless now as I did in my marriage because there is no place to get away. I envy the courage of everyone like you who are speaking out. I am trying to be that brave, I repost things across all my social media, but the fear of "punishment" is still so raw from the psychological and emotional abuse suffered over a 30 year marriage. I appreciate all you do and draw strength from your efforts and give myself permission to keep fighting!

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Jean Wiant's avatar

Been there and done that too! Sending you a hug and courage to get through!

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Beth VanderWoude's avatar

You are very kind, thank you.

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Friedrike Merck's avatar

Thank you, you have expressed what countless survivors of narcissistic abuse are going through right now with the narcissistic bully in the White House. We are being re-traumatized.

Don't envy anyone Beth! You have done what millions are incapable of doing, you got out of a narcissistic, abusive relationship! You are hugely courageous! You get a Bronze Star AND a Purple Heart!

I also escaped a narcissistic relationship and in the process of recovering from it, I read (listened to) a few books that really helped me understand why I got into the psychologically abusive relationship in the first place.

The following titles were very helpful, there are many more. Always remember, you are not alone, and you are courageous.

Titles:

"Growing Up as the Scapegoat to Narcissistic Parents" by Jay Reid LPCC

"The Tao of Fully Feeling" by Pete Walker

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Beth VanderWoude's avatar

Good on you for also escaping. It has been six years and I am still in therapy; still have a ways to go. It was hard enough to break the trauma bond with my ex. But I still lack courage to allow my voice to be heard and confidence in being knowledgeable due to so many years of being conditioned that my voice doesn't matter and has no credibility. It is disheartening watching a good bit of our nation going through this an not realizing it. I think the overall mental health of this nation should also be called out. Not only are there serious side affects to the emotional and psychological abuse but also very real physical side affects as well. Thank you all for the encouragement!

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Friedrike Merck's avatar

Yes, very hard to watch but we survivors, who are making sense of what we experienced, can help others. I have suggested that Michael start some kind of 12 Step program for people recovering from Narcissistic abuse.

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Beth VanderWoude's avatar

That's a good idea. I mean recovering from this type of abuse is essentially the same as recovering from an addiction. You have to fight every single day not to "give-in" to the temptation of going back to what you know, to not fear the unknown alone.

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Paula B.'s avatar

Beth, I just want to say one thing: your voice absolutely does matter and you should be proud of it. We have an idiot in the White House who knows nothing about anything and thinks he's God's gift. Why should his voice matter and yours not?

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Beth VanderWoude's avatar

Paula, first, love your kitty! And love your creations (I am a crocheter)! Second, it's not that simple. It is constant inner struggle to fight "muscle memory". The need to disassociate, to try to cower from the chaos. To not clap our hands over our ears to shut it all out. We are watching in real time powerful retribution for those who speak out. I thank you for the encouragement as well as from all the others.

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Paula B.'s avatar

Thank you, Beth. She is no longer with us but not forgotten. I'm so glad to hear that you crochet!! I do too.

I understand what you're saying. But one day you will be able to retrain your muscles and will know that you matter, and so much more than that orange idiot. I hope that day is soon.

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Mary Hill Stone's avatar

I here this as currently in a double whammy of narcissism internally and beyond.

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Paula B.'s avatar

So sorry!!

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Diane Lee's avatar

*hugs* I feel the same way.

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Marcie Gauntlett's avatar

Beth: bless yu for ending the abuse; I left after 27 years an thank God every day for giving me the courage! Some people cannot change so yu r the one who has to facilitate yur life. It makes yu stronger an the freedom.is exhilerating!

Much gud luck! Xo

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Cecejune's avatar

It would take me 20+ years to finally say I wanted a divorce, call a good lawyer and leave the negative, abusive narcissist. It felt like BASE jumping and many hurdles were thrown at me. It was worth finally having freedom from his craziness. What happened is that our social group turned out to be his friends.

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Paula B.'s avatar

So sorry about this, Beth. We need each other so much right now. Hugs and following.

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Susie's avatar

We have loved you since 2019, when you testified at your trial against “Individual One” who we all knew was Mad King Donny. You were willing to sacrifice and spend time in prison in order to expose this lying narcissist dictator. Unfortunately he never is forced to face and consequences while others end up getting blamed. I can’t help thinking what a different world we’d live in if the American people had put Kamala Harris in office. Racism and misogyny won, and now we have all faced the consequences of the MAGA madness and stupidity. Thank you for continuing to speak up and be a warrior for democracy.

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Roger Callaway's avatar

The best part is Michael Cohen is flourishing, apparently discovering hidden talents… Go Michael!I can only hope you are stuck in gumps craw.

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Soso's avatar

'it’s cultural reprogramming' - Michael, you're absolutely right. This Canadian doesn't recognize this part of the US anymore. I say 'this part' because I do think that most Americans are not agreeing with what is going on right on. However, it feels like they are becoming like 'hostages' in a situation where an elite group of people have taken control. I will be following your streaming on the live event. I'm so glad you are pals with Jim Acosta and others, you are helping others to stand up and not be afraid. Hang in there guys - Hands off - No fear!🚫✋🚫👑

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Robin D's avatar

We are hostages. We'll have to send you smoke signals or morse code. Can only trust substack in 2025!🙏

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Anne Lockwood's avatar

Michael, you say it like no one can. In the midst of the darkness, I laugh out loud reading your posts. And that is what we need to sustain us through the madness. That and standing up at protests and being sure to vote blue in 2026. The 2026 elections may be our last chance to stop the regime.

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DBella's avatar

I love the way you communicate with us. Truthfulness, boldness and warnings! We aren't giving up the resistance, not letting our guard down. We are listening! Keep up the fine work Michael. ✌️❤️

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Ballard Graham's avatar

Michael, I certainly can appreciate and understand your message here and I definitely see and hear exactly what you’re communicating daily. I’m just shocked at the refusal, for whatever reason Americans do not believe their own eyes and ears. Just the J6 attacked on our nations Capitol instigated by the felon currently in the WH, over his refusal to accept the 2020 election outcome. This alone was my realization that this man was and is not fit to be the leader of this country. From the felon’s first term as Chief Executive he has openly ignored or broken the laws that govern our society. This is so obvious that he and his billionaire cronies along with the MAGA Republicans don’t believe our laws apply to them and that they are allowed to ignore them as they feel entitled! All supposedly in the name of “Saving our Country”!

You are absolutely correct in your assessment of the short sidedness of some of our American citizen’s willingness to throw their support to a demagogue named “Trump”.

I hope that all who take the time to read your article, really appreciate the depth of your message. Because we are really seeing and feeling the outcome in our daily lives.

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Friedrike Merck's avatar

It takes years for people to untie themselves from narcissistic power but it will happen, in time. It will happen.

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Ballard Graham's avatar

Let’s hope so, and certainly before it’s too late!

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Friedrike Merck's avatar

Not able to vote if you don't have a passport? How about requiring a passport to buy a gun? How about, whats the old saying.. no taxation without representation, how about you don't have to pay taxes if you aren't allowed to vote?

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Paula B.'s avatar

Oooh, I like that. We seem to be reliving the Boston Tea Party. Very astute.

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CynnyMoogle's avatar

The petty bitch in me wants to send tons of donuts to RFK jr. now. 😑

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Tony Borowiecki's avatar

But it's O.K. to carry around a dead, roadkill bear in your trunk all day 'cuz you want to eat it later on. Even though I was only 13 when he died, I loved JFK. I loathe rfkjr.

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Paula B.'s avatar

And BTW, what does his boss eat?

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CynnyMoogle's avatar

That crusty orange eats pink slime lol

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Friedrike Merck's avatar

Not petty at all! Great idea.

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Victoria's avatar

😂

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Cari De & MeMe's avatar

Michael, Totally with you & am happy that you & Jim Acosta are beginning your walk with 'No Fear' journey across our country. I, too, continue to see this slow creeping ooze that's spreading & eating away at our Constitutional rights & personal securities. Yes... it's going to take millions of voices, focus, perseverance & dogmatic actions, as what occurred with last Saturday's "HANDS OFF" events. Question? When are you & Jim coming to Southwest Virginia?

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Cheryl Schroeder's avatar

Don't forget about people who were adopted as children. Their birth certificate has their birth name on it,not their adopted name. Thanks Michael for all of your words of truth. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💙💙

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

It’s all a giant scam , just look at how musk is using the government to make money https://thistleandmoss.com/p/the-hidden-truth-how-tesla-actually

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Tony Borowiecki's avatar

Michael, Wow! what an article.! Of course I agree with all you wrote, and most of what you say on your talks/podcasts/conversations. Keep on, my digital friend.

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Diane Lee's avatar

That orange fat fuck isn't a paragon of physical fitness, why doesn't RFK,Jr. work on that massive project (no pun

intended) ......why doesn't RFK,Jr. focus on lowering costs of healthy & organic foods? Get people healthy foods to eat? He's so off base it's frightening 😞

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Bill Riley's avatar

Ben Meiselas and AOC are going after Trump for his “pump and dump” stock scheme, which this time around marks the end of Donald Trump.

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Paula B.'s avatar

Letitia James can go after all of them because the stock exchange is in NY. This could get interesting.

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Elaine H's avatar

Thanks for this, Michael, sadly, it’s all true. Looking forward to the town hall!

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